Don't waste your life in different emotional depths

In intimate relationships, people are actually divided into two completely different underlying types:

One is the "polygamous type"
The other is the "monogamous type"

The root of many people's suffering is trying to tame the genes of a polygamous nature with the deep affection of a monogamous one.

The innate "polygamous type" is most confusing because, when they love you, it doesn't prevent them from sincerely loving others. In their perception, this is not called betrayal but an "open honesty."

Even after establishing a relationship, they can still interact with different opposite-sex individuals without psychological burden, sharing daily life, late-night high-frequency chats, ambiguous physical contact, and even traveling as a pair. These "boundary crossings" in the eyes of ordinary people are seen by them as simply enjoying the moment; they don't think there's anything inappropriate. In their life hierarchy, a partner has never been assigned the attribute of "uniqueness." When their own desires collide with their partner's needs, they instinctively and forever prioritize satisfying themselves.

Looking deeper into such men, you'll find that their confidence is outwardly seeking. The way they prove they are "awesome" is not by showcasing achievements but by demonstrating what kind of women they can conquer.

Chasing after the campus belle during school days is not necessarily because of more love, but because "such a beautiful woman was finally obtained by me."

They firmly believe that a man's taste is determined by the women around him, so he must constantly hunt for beauty, conquering different women to paint a sense of fragile value.

This desire for conquest often stems from a lack in the original family—if there is an overly perfect mother, he will spend his life searching for substitutes, piecing together a "maternal community" among different women; if the caregiver is extremely irresponsible, he will fall into another obsession—finding security in one person, then immediately seeking the next, even dating several at once, to share the risk of being abandoned at any moment.

And those "monogamous type" individuals live as if building a nest for love. Once they commit to someone, they will repeatedly build all their attachment onto that person like stacking bricks.

They have a physiological exclusivity; even if they argue until they are heartbroken, even if external temptations are strong, they still believe that "no matter how much others give, it can't compare to the joy their lover provides."

For them, re-getting to know someone, breaking the ice again, and establishing a connection is a huge energy drain. They would rather repair a broken relationship than wander through external ruins.

But the monogamous type also has an extreme B side. Some monogamous people treat their partner as their only lifeline, which means you must bear all their joys, anger, sorrow, and happiness. The suffocating and demanding feeling caused by excessive attachment can even evolve into a sacrificial form of blackmail, making you feel powerless to respond.

This humble sacrifice is essentially a desire to confirm their own value through your recognition.

In fact, understanding a person's fundamental character is not to change someone, but to gain true liberation after seeing the truth clearly. When you no longer try to persuade a polygamous person or build a mansion on the sand, you have truly learned how to protect your own energy.

Seeing through the other person's attributes is to avoid pitfalls;

And truly understanding your own needs is what allows you to know which kind of soul can carry your remaining life.