Someone asks me for a loan, should I tear up the face or be the big fool?

When your best friend sends that message “Are you there?” followed by a string of ellipses, do you already smell the scent of borrowing money? When relatives knock on your door under the banner of “help in an emergency, not poverty,” is your wallet beating faster than your heartbeat?

But what if I tell you that borrowing money is not a test of friendship at all, but a naked emotional kidnapping? Would you feel relieved—then double the pain?

Who exactly set the rule that “true friends should withstand the test of borrowing money”? Why isn’t this standard set by you? When the other party uses years of friendship as collateral, are you signing a loan agreement or a sell-yourself contract?

Have you ever wondered why they don’t go to the bank but choose you? Is it because your interest rate is cheaper—free? Or because your collection methods are gentler—dare not to push? Or is it because, in their mind, you are simply a soft target who doesn’t need to consider “sunk costs”?

Do you dare to admit that the real reason you’re afraid to refuse isn’t that the other person will starve, but that you’re afraid of being labeled “cold” and “selfish”? From childhood, we’ve been taught to be “helpful,” but when did that turn into “willing to give money”? Is your kindness from the heart, or a guilt voucher for fear of losing your image?