No Longer Soft and Timid

1. Don’t always hang onto a smile
Manage your facial expressions consciously. Happiness, anger, sadness—don’t put them all on your face. Don’t keep smiling all the time, especially those appeasing smiles—seeing them makes people feel very uncomfortable. When the other person isn’t smiling at you, staying in a non-smiling state can solve most of your weakness problems.

2. Don’t be afraid of being disliked
Dislike me? Fine. If you dislike me, I’ll dislike you too. It’s not like only you can dislike others. Feeling disgust toward someone isn’t a big deal; being disliked by others is the same. Don’t dodge your true inner feelings—people can’t be surrounded by good emotions all the time.

3. Dare to pause
No matter how urgent the matter is, pause for three seconds before answering. When someone puts forward a request or a question, if you dare to pause for a moment, your response will feel like you’ve thought things through seriously. Use fewer words like “maybe,” “probably,” or “perhaps.” When you’re unsure about something, you can say, “Let me think about it.”

4. Everyone only cares about themselves
No one will care whether what you say takes their feelings into account.

5. Don’t be afraid to offend people—don’t be afraid to cause trouble
Most people are actually very timid, and most things don’t have serious consequences. Just do it! Besides yourself, maybe you’re taking things too seriously. Don’t care too much about your image! People bully the soft and fear the hard—if you don’t confront him, and don’t intimidate him,

6. Don’t be timid or shrink back
Constantly remind yourself: stand up straight; don’t walk with your hands and feet drawn in. Walk with firm steps—take big strides, but don’t lean your body forward, and don’t look down. Keep your hand movements within the upper half of your body; it will make people feel that you have power. When sitting, don’t put your hands on your lower body—that shows a lack of energy. You can maintain eye contact for a long time; your gaze should be warm and firm. Don’t avoid it, and don’t actively shift your eyes away—this is what’s called presence. In standing, walking, sitting, and lying down, remove unnecessary movements.

7. No forced smiles; no pleasing; no flattering; no trying to win favor
Do what you’re supposed to do. Say what you want to say. You should have this attitude: what you see is me. If you think it’s good, then it’s good. If you think it’s not good, then please keep your distance from me.

8. Don’t be insecure
Don’t feel like you’re worse than others. Whether this person has money, and how much money they have, has nothing to do with you. Many people carry too much servility; when they see someone more capable—or even just someone who “looks” more capable—their courage gets smaller. In fact, many people are just dazzling on the surface.
To see whether someone has real ability, it’s not about what they wear, what car they drive, or what they eat. It’s about their circle. If their circle is high-level, then chances are this person has real substance. If all that’s left is a whole set of fine gear and a so-called luxury car, then it’s just for show—maybe their pockets are even cleaner than their face. You don’t have to feel inferior—you are you.

9. Offending a few people in life or getting a few things wrong really isn’t that scary
Living your whole life trying to please everyone, always acting carefully and anxiously—that’s what’s scary. Life is a long line with ups and downs; it won’t be destroyed by any single point in time. Once you get used to pleasing others, your life will always have people to please without end; but if you get used to pleasing yourself, then new people will naturally come to please you.

10. When you get stronger, others will be afraid of you
People are animals that wear clothes, and the world is an animal jungle where the weak get preyed on by the strong. When others interact with you or trade with you, they definitely want to get what they want. First, think the worst of them (basically right), and then seize their handles and leave evidence behind. Catch the key weak points of the other person, and he will naturally get scared and back down.

11. Keep seeking self-strengthening
When you move from softness to toughness, and from pleasing others to respecting yourself, your “self” begins to be established and develop. You’ll become increasingly confident. Along with confidence, your personality and charm will spread outward, and your relationships will become increasingly harmonious.

12. Starting now, whenever you face a choice, change from avoidance in the past to stepping forward
These are just small matters—I did them, so what? If it’s something you’ve never done before, go do it. If it’s someone you want to get to know, go get to know them. If it’s a call you want to make, make it right away. If it’s a road you’ve never walked, go walk it. Even if you fail, you have nothing to lose, because you never truly had it in the first place.