"Why do some women prefer to commit suicide rather than divorce? Behind the silence, there are countless days and nights of loneliness in repayment."

People really need to have a feeling of living for themselves at any time. Originally, I had plans to celebrate the New Year with my sisters today, but her sister threatened to commit suicide.

It’s because she found out her husband was cheating. Over the years since she got married, she kept having children and lost her own life.

Hearing this, I felt a pang in my heart, recalling that her sister used to be a cheerful and beautiful girl. After marriage, she had children one after another, and her life was full of pots, bowls, milk powder, and diapers.

The last time I saw her, her eyes had lost their sparkle, only leaving a body full of exhaustion and a temper that would complain easily.

Her husband's infidelity was like the last straw, crushing all the grievances, sacrifices, and hopes she had accumulated over the years. She said she felt like she had wasted all these years, seeing everything with disgust, and it would be better to die cleanly.

I listened, but I swallowed my words again. I wanted to say, "Just divorce and be done with it, why go to such lengths," but I remained silent. I haven't walked her path, so I don’t understand her suffering. Sometimes, a person's heart dies not overnight, but after thousands of days and nights of exhaustion.

This incident strengthened one thing in me: people must always have a part of their life lived for themselves. If I have a family in the future, I will give and contribute, but I must leave a space for myself—reading, working, daydreaming, doing things I love. Because I increasingly realize that the only one who can truly support me is myself.

Thinking back to what my brother once told me—first, you must be yourself; then a daughter, a friend, a partner, and maybe in the future, a mother. When you have many roles supporting you, you won’t fall apart because of one role.

Living wisely is probably like this: first stabilize yourself, then warm others. Only when you live your life solidly can you have the strength to love, and also be able to handle life’s sudden changes.

Tonight, the New Year’s celebration that should have been lively suddenly became very quiet. I feel a bit heavy-hearted, but also more clear-headed. We all need to live well, for ourselves.