Ever notice how Wall Street analysts love playing fortune teller? They'll tell you the crash is coming—oh, it's definitely coming. Charts will be drawn, reports will be published, stern warnings will echo through CNBC. But ask them when? Suddenly everyone's got a dentist appointment.

These institutions have mastered the art of the vague prediction. "A significant correction is imminent" sounds impressive until you realize imminent could mean next week or three years from now. By the time something actually happens, they'll dig up that old tweet and proclaim "See? We called it!"

The game never changes. Predict everything, time nothing, claim credit for whatever sticks. Meanwhile, retail traders are left wondering whether to panic today or panic tomorrow.

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